[Review] The Break-Up Psychic - Emily Hemmer

Released: May 26th, 2013

Ellie has a bad habit of picking the wrong man; a cheating ex-boyfriend, a mild-mannered foot fetishist, and let's not forget about the hillbilly with the impolite hard-on. But when Sam James, the oh-so-hot bad boy Ellie has sworn off to stay away from, keeps turning up like a bad penny, she's going to need more than her psychic senses to see what's coming her way.

"You can try to avoid getting hit by a car but if you're standing in the middle of the street, you're gonna get run over eventually."

This book was an easy, fun read about a hilarious girl who hears bells ringing in her head whenever a breakup was coming up. I could use those senses sometime. And then there's Sam James, the super shmexy mechanic working merely a few blocks away from Ellie ;)

I really liked Ellie's character even though she was so initially stubborn about Sam since she was just waiting for those stupid bells to start ringing. It's funny though knowing that she expects a breakup coming up.

"I know the breakup's coming, and I know somewhere nearby, there's a big-boob bimbo getting all of my good foreplay."

But this is Ellie summed up in one quote:

"Meaning you need to repave this rocky road you've been travelling down and start fresh. You're in love with the idea of love, but the reality of giving yourself over to someone whole-heartedly scares the beejesus out of you."

I just feel so horrible for her sometimes since she keeps getting stuck with those weird guys. First, there's Tim, her cheating ex who's suddenly obsessed with her again. And then hillbilly whose name I forgot honestly. Then HOLY SHIT! Ellery was fucking best. Damn you, Celery. You made me choke and laugh and cry.

"Do you like it? It's the mating song of a South African tribe. It's supposed to arouse the libido and bring forth fertility."

And after he gives her the marvelous foot-rub???

But something warm and wet has suddenly enveloped my big toe. I snap my eyes open to find Ellery, head down in full toe-sucking euphoria.

Fuck, I just lost it after that. AND SHE BROKE HIS NOSE!!! Holy shit. High-five me, girl!

Enough about those weirdos *sigh* ONTO SAM "PLEASE-DO-ME" JAMES!!!

He's insistent, romantic, so freaking adorable. Despite him being secretive of a few things and Ellie's friends warnings of the man he is, she still fell head over heels for him because, God, he was like the perfect gentleman outside and a sex god on the bed.

"Ellie girl, I would love the opportunity to bring pleasure to you."

AND HE SAYS THE SWEETEST THINGS ALWKERJWEJR

"Because the first time I saw you, you took my breath away, and it wasn't until I walked into that bar three weeks ago that I felt like I could breathe again."

How do you not fall for a man like that?

Another awesome character was definitely Hart. I freaking adored Hart.

"Love is a powerful thing. It consumes you, makes you do foolish things. When you're in love, everything is heightened, all your senses. The air smells fresher, the whiskey tastes sweeter, and the sight of an old dirt path looks for the entire world like the smoothest stretch of road on earth. But we forget; there's another side to those feelings, a darker side."

"Trust is earned. Faith is given." 

 Minor Faults:

• Sometimes the characters seemed too blehh, like their personalities were just too bland
• The plot was somehow a bit off for me, I have no idea why

MY RATING:

3 AND A HALF APPLES!!!!!

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About The Author:

Emily Hemmer was raised in the Northwest suburbs of Chicago before settling in Kansas City in 1996. In October 2012, Emily learned she came in 2nd place for the SFARWA's Heart-to-Heart Contest for her first work, The Break-Up Psychic. This year, she plans to publish three books, win countless accolades from her peers, and literally roll around in a bed made of money. She also plans to purchase a new dishwasher.

Check her out in these sites:

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