Sunday, September 15, 2013

[Review] Find You in the Dark - A. Meredith Walters

Released: October 10th, 2012

Maggie Young had the market on normal. Normal friends, normal parents, normal grades… normal life.

Until him.

Clayton Reed was running from his past and an army of personal demons that threatened to take him down. He never thought he had a chance at happiness.

Until her.

Maggie thought their love could overcome anything. Clay thought she was all he needed to fix his messy life.

That together, they could face the world.

But the darkness is always waiting.

Sometimes the greatest obstacle to true love is within yourself.

"Sometimes, love can't make everything better, and the best thing for everyone is to walk away. No matter how much it may hurt."
So this was me in the beginning of the book:

And by the end?

Fuck, this was hands-down one of the most fucking depressing books I've ever read. It comes in second after The Bronze Horseman and it was like fuck fuckety fukerakwler fuck shit. God, I can't even explain myself in real words.

Find You in the Dark was deeply and powerfully emotional. The story swallows you deep into the world of Maggie Young's initially normal life into her story with destructive love, slowly-breaking relationships, and the heartbreaking process of having to sacrifice the person you love the most. It was so beautifully and painfully written that I just couldn't put it down.

Maggie Young had normal down to a T. She was sick of it. So when she literally bumps into Clay when he first arrived, it was like BAM! This was it. This was her way out of her endless boring cycle.
"They [her parents] were really nauseating at times, the way they were still so in love with each other. Though, deep down, i just wanted the same thing and I spent a lot of time freaking out that I would never find it. But that was a panic attack for another time."
She wanted an out out of normal and Clay was it. He was different. Dark and broody at first but then you quickly fall for his charms and witty remarks.

Maggie is also my kind of woman because she was a slight feminist. FUCK YES! I just felt like I could relate to Maggie a lot and that's why I absolutely fucking loved her character. I could empathize with all her feelings and thoughts. She was a feminist, she knows how boring normal is, she wants an escape from her regular routine, she wants to fall in love, and then she knows what it's like to be consumed by love. This is my life, ladies and gents.
"What was with the whole sufferage thing and the entire push for gender equality if we still have to bow down to gender stereotypes?"
And then there's Clay.
God, I cried for him the whole time. I couldn't help it. I know that I should never pity someone but then fuckkkk, Clay was just lawkejralwkejr. He was honestly so perfect. He was funny, sweet and thoughtful. But then because of his _____, which I will not spoil, he becomes so confusing and frustrating. I felt horrible for both of them because they had such a cataclysmic relationship. It was like a ticking time-bomb.
Maggie: "What is it?"
Clay: "I love you so much. Sometimes it hurts."
Maggie: "I don't want it to hurt, Clay. Our love should make you feel wonderful."
This was basically a summary of their whole relationship. They loved each other so fucking much that they ended up needing each other, especially Clay. Clay is so dependent on Maggie and because of _____, he fucks things up sometimes but then he apologizes. It was like a miserable cycle for them both. They both suffered despite the feelings they had for each other.

They were best friends first and then they were lovers. Maggie truly cares about Clay but he seems so intent on believing that he really does need Maggie to live. It's like she was literally his air.
"When you're in a room, Maggie, all I see is you. You make everything better. Clearer. You stop the crazy noise in my head. I can think, hell, I can breathe when we're together. What you make me feel is the most unbelievable and scary thing I've ever felt."
AND FREAK!!!!!!!!! I loved the ending, despite it not being a 'happily ever after' kind of thing (but there's a sequel YAY!). It's sort of a closure for them both even though they still love each other, they're finally trying to move on with their lives and trying to fix what's wrong.

Minor Faults:
  • I know it's because of Clay's issues but God, it can get annoying sometimes, but well I sympathize y'know.


I was close to giving it a 4.5 but ehh. Between 4 - 4.5

About The Author:

A. Meredith Walters has been writing since childhood and is also the author of Irresistible Fear, the first book in a paranormal trilogy. Having recently made the big move from America to the other side of the pond to jolly o' england, she has been afforded the opportunity to write full time. Before that, she spent over a decade as a children's counselor and saw first hand the devastation of mental health issues. But she also saw the beautiful resilience, unwavering hope and strength of the human spirit. Because of that… this story was created. 

Check her out in these sites:
Website | Twitter | Facebook

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